All or Nothing

Writing Sprints

That might be my epitaph. It certainly sums up the extremes of my physiology and personality. I have no thermostat, so I’m either hot or cold, never in between, certainly never ‘just right’! And with so many things in my life I’m gung-ho-all-at-it-full-tilt-boogy or indolent, can’t be bothered, too worn out. Having a crop of chronic illnesses doesn’t really help. Fybromyalgia means, quite apart from the pain, I’m frequently lacking energy, and the painful bladder syndrome, that sees me pee through the night, more regularly than clockwork, often leaves me feeling drained.  It would be great if my energy levels coincided with my desire and ability to concentrate, but there is rarely any magical synchronicity. More often than not, I sit with fingers poised and tap a few desultory notes, trying desperately to keep my eyes open or I retreat to the sofa with my ipad and tap quickly, trying to capture ideas before they recede into the brain fog, which often accompanies the pain and sleep deprivation.

Sometimes, however, like today, my brain and body are both raring to go. Refreshed after a few hours sleep and some homemade bread for breakfast, I bashed away frantically for two hours, made lunch, then bashed away for another 2 hours.  It’s a good result.  My writing sprint has paid off. There will be plenty of sifting to do later, of course, but getting the words down is the main thing for me.

Now I’m exhausted again. The 3 o’clock lull will see me huddled on the sofa, eyes flickering, fingers tapping as I doze…. 💤