My Favourite Waste of Time
This week’s ear-worm provided the title for this week’s blog - the 1982 hit for Owen Paul, which incidentally I didn’t like - but not the inspiration. It could equally have been lessons from my dog part 4, although time and how we value and spend it is, as you might already have worked out, a favourite topic of mine. Even the way we talk about time, in terms of currency (value/spend) exposes how we view the subject. We all have a limited amount of it - in terms of our lifetimes - and we’re supposed to use it wisely, whatever that may mean.
Currently my dog is my favourite waste of time - if you choose to view her as such. We sit in the garden most mornings with a cuppa, she sniffs the air and listens to the multiplicity of sounds, chases the occasional bird or butterfly, whilst I take in the bird song and warmth from the sun. I watch her roll in the grass for no good reason other than the fact that she enjoys it; I watch her race zoomies around the pond; follow scents in the grass. It’s 15 minutes of calm, of doing nothing other than simply being. Having our wee rescue is a great excuse for this morning ritual, but I shouldn’t need one. We shouldn’t need to justify taking a few moments at the start of the day to breath and re-calibrate. We shouldn’t have to justify how we chose to spend our allotted moments - to ourselves or anyone else. Everything domestic can wait. I say that, yet very often I don’t feel it. Despite not having 9 - 5 job, I feel the pressure to get things done: my never ending to do list, house work, making meals, tending vegetables and the garden, quite apart from my day job(s) of writing, painting and baking. At the moment my Mum is staying to convalesce, as you will know if you caught my note yesterday, so life is pretty full-on as my Mum has Dementia, is disabled and needs personal care and assistance 24/7. I got 10 minutes in the garden this morning in my PJ’s and without a cuppa, but it was still a respite of sorts. An hour’s yoga yesterday really helped me chill out my racing brain away from the responsibility of dog, parent and any thought of housework. I’m grateful to my long-suffering husband for making that possible. People who care alone have a near impossible life, where ‘me time’ doesn’t exist and self-care goes totally out of the window.
We don’t do things that help us relax, chill and centre ourselves because we fear ‘wasting’ time. We feel pressured to be ‘doing something’ all of the time and rush around from one task to the next feeling more and more flustered and exhausted. If we took the time to do nothing, other than ‘be’, to ‘waste’ a few more moments, then perhaps we would be less stressed. We are not robots who just keep going or The Borg who can regenerate, we have to actively take time to find and do things that nourish our souls and revive us: a walk by the sea, a swim, reading a book, napping, singing - whatever it is that lifts your spirits and restores your equilibrium. These things are not a waste of time, they’re essential to human health and mental well-being. We were never designed to be on, full-tilt-boogie 24/7. We need down time. I would also argue that we need time in nature, to help us feel less dislocated, but I guess that argument is for another day. I’ve said it before and will no doubt repeat myself.
Stephen Covey suggests that we should ‘invest’ in time rather than ‘expend’ it and that the difference in view will mean we never ‘waste’ time on things that aren’t of importance. However, It is for us to decide what is important and no one else to judge. If we can relax and have fun watching TV or a film, playing a board game or a card game or skate boarding in a skate park, it’s not for anyone else to judge us and suggest our particular delectation is a waste of time. Life is serious enough for everyone these days and we need to find some fun and enjoyment where we can. Nourishing our sense of fun, finding ways to enjoy ourselves, is as fundamental for human functioning as sleep, food and connection.
A waste of time is, by definition, something which is purposeless, but enjoying life, appreciating the joy to be found in stolen moments and finding time to nurture our inner lives is one of the highest purposes we can dedicate our time to. In making time to ‘waste’ time we allow ourselves to relax, we restore our minds and bodies and have more energy and presence for our responsibilities to other people and the things we possess (houses, gardens, etc). Join me in wasting some precious moments today!
As always, I’d be delighted if you want to share any thoughts on the subject and join the discussion.
Oh, the shoulds oughts and musts, driven into us by our forebears and peers and ourselves; all socially constructed, most out of a time when the economics of the household demanded it, to stay alive. It's not entirely different now, but the protestant work ethic continues to whisper in our ears. Work hard, and now play hard. I'm not sure where writing that left me. Balance; we are trying to achieve balance, with gratitude for what we have and acceptance of what we must do. Something like that.
I feel just the same. The worst thing I find is to procrastinate when feeling there are things I should do. That does waste the time. I'd be better off deliberately deciding not to do them for now and instead letting myself do something else that I enjoy.