This is not something I do Debbie, so well done for this continual act of remembrance. It's a man thing probably, but I am thankful that my wife remembers such things.
I did attend some death cafes on Zoom during the pandemic. Interesting, but not such great value as encountering it through hospice volunteering, seeing and working on both sides of the death divide. I now use poetry to encounter death and think about my own...
Thanks, Glenn. Appreciate you reading this and taking time to comment.
Is it a ‘man’ thing? Not sure about that!
I didn’t know there were zoom death cafes! I too worked at a hospice and was impressed with the positivity and dignity with which people accepted their own deaths. The important thing is to confront it and then live as well as we can, in my opinion. However we do it is fine. Poetry is a great way to explore most things! It’s the fear of death, doing everything to aspire to immortality that becomes problematic.
My apologies. I meant that it's a man thing in finding it less easy to act as a guardian of remembrance. Dates fall of the back of my memory all to quickly. My wife is that guardian, and I thank her for that.
I think it's important to remember people who have passed. I like to remember people particularly on their birthdays. I like the idea of death cafes, you're right, we aren't open enough about death in our culture.
My mother left the visible in 2011, her death date, funeral date and birthday are permanently etched in my head. I don't celebrate per se, except by making an elaborate funeral tribute to place on her grave. I studied City&Guilds Floristry so that could make fancy displays for the grave to commemorate death with dead things (cut flowers.) I've written poetry about this as well.
About a decade ago, a group in Todmorden held a death festival, may have been called Pushing up Daisies or similar. Think the idea was like the Death Café, to get folk talking about it. All good things in my mind. YouTube channels like Ask a Mortician also help to encourage dialogue.
I no longer fear death, I see it as stepping through a doorway, a transmutation into another realm. 💚
Thanks for reading and engaging with this piece, Fi. I’m sorry for your loss.
It’s a good thing to be able to make something - what a lovely creative skill to have and a great way to commemorate people.
I’m rubbish with dates (I have a terrible memory) so require an aide memoir.
That’s very interesting about Todmorden. I’d not heard about that festival.Seems like an incredible place all round (I know it from ‘incredible, edible, Todmorden). It’s such a helpful and rewarding thing to encourage people to do. Any dialogue helps people express their fears and ask questions and has to be a good thing.
I’m so pleased that you no longer fear death. That must be comforting.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
I appreciate you subscribing to All Kinds of Everything.
Lovely piece of writing, Debbie. Yes, this is something I do, although I'm not looking forward to 'celebrating' my recently deceased brother, Donald's 60th next month. Xxx
My thoughts are with you, Connie. I saw you post that. Heartbreaking, all the more so when siblings are younger. It’s no age, is it. I hope you can remember some better times together, but grief is a fitting tribute for loss - the terrible price of loving someone. Be kind to yourself, lovely.
Thanks so much for reading and engaging. About if you ever want to chat.
This is not something I do Debbie, so well done for this continual act of remembrance. It's a man thing probably, but I am thankful that my wife remembers such things.
I did attend some death cafes on Zoom during the pandemic. Interesting, but not such great value as encountering it through hospice volunteering, seeing and working on both sides of the death divide. I now use poetry to encounter death and think about my own...
Thanks, Glenn. Appreciate you reading this and taking time to comment.
Is it a ‘man’ thing? Not sure about that!
I didn’t know there were zoom death cafes! I too worked at a hospice and was impressed with the positivity and dignity with which people accepted their own deaths. The important thing is to confront it and then live as well as we can, in my opinion. However we do it is fine. Poetry is a great way to explore most things! It’s the fear of death, doing everything to aspire to immortality that becomes problematic.
My apologies. I meant that it's a man thing in finding it less easy to act as a guardian of remembrance. Dates fall of the back of my memory all to quickly. My wife is that guardian, and I thank her for that.
Apology not required. Maybe a Glenn thing? 😉 Totally take your point. 👍🏻
I think it's important to remember people who have passed. I like to remember people particularly on their birthdays. I like the idea of death cafes, you're right, we aren't open enough about death in our culture.
Thank you for reading and responding, as always, Juliet. The idea of death cafes kind of appealed to me too. I’d not come across them before, had you?
No I hadn’t come across the idea of death cafes before either.
My mother left the visible in 2011, her death date, funeral date and birthday are permanently etched in my head. I don't celebrate per se, except by making an elaborate funeral tribute to place on her grave. I studied City&Guilds Floristry so that could make fancy displays for the grave to commemorate death with dead things (cut flowers.) I've written poetry about this as well.
About a decade ago, a group in Todmorden held a death festival, may have been called Pushing up Daisies or similar. Think the idea was like the Death Café, to get folk talking about it. All good things in my mind. YouTube channels like Ask a Mortician also help to encourage dialogue.
I no longer fear death, I see it as stepping through a doorway, a transmutation into another realm. 💚
Thanks for reading and engaging with this piece, Fi. I’m sorry for your loss.
It’s a good thing to be able to make something - what a lovely creative skill to have and a great way to commemorate people.
I’m rubbish with dates (I have a terrible memory) so require an aide memoir.
That’s very interesting about Todmorden. I’d not heard about that festival.Seems like an incredible place all round (I know it from ‘incredible, edible, Todmorden). It’s such a helpful and rewarding thing to encourage people to do. Any dialogue helps people express their fears and ask questions and has to be a good thing.
I’m so pleased that you no longer fear death. That must be comforting.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
I appreciate you subscribing to All Kinds of Everything.
Thanks Debbie 😘
Lovely piece of writing, Debbie. Yes, this is something I do, although I'm not looking forward to 'celebrating' my recently deceased brother, Donald's 60th next month. Xxx
My thoughts are with you, Connie. I saw you post that. Heartbreaking, all the more so when siblings are younger. It’s no age, is it. I hope you can remember some better times together, but grief is a fitting tribute for loss - the terrible price of loving someone. Be kind to yourself, lovely.
Thanks so much for reading and engaging. About if you ever want to chat.
xxx
I find this way of remembering very important. And yes perhaps we should formalise it more. Very thoughtful post. Thanks.
Thank you, Georgina. I appreciate you taking time to read this post and share your thoughts.
I’m sure we all have our ways of remembering. It’s the way we shun conversation about our own mortality that I believe is more problematic.