21 Comments
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Beth Brooke's avatar

Really like that second poem. Strong ending - a whole implied backstory in just a line or two. Great stuff!

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

Thanks, Beth. Appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

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Beth Brooke's avatar

I enjoy reading what you write

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

Thanks. Means a lot. The feeling is mutual! You get a mention in next week’s blog btw!

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Beth Brooke's avatar

😊🙀

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Glenn Barker's avatar

It's important to read the audience; yes, you have something to tell us, but keep it to a page please guys. I remember one poet who went on and on and on about her mental health. I was willing her to shut up, and she was only half way through. Exhausting.

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

I don’t think I’d be good at reading an audience. Select a short poem, read it, run away! 😂 It’s difficult with MH issues. We had a creative writing class up here, specifically for people who identified as having mental illness and who wanted to write. It’s a good way to tell your story and share creatively and there needs to be forums for that, but a general open mic is perhaps not the right one. I suspect a lot of people felt similarly.

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FiCreate's avatar

I write MH poetry, but generally use nature to convey my message.

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

I think all poetry is MH poetry because creativity is good for our well being, but I guess you mean using poetry as means to express how you feel about your mental well being?

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FiCreate's avatar

I meant it specifically to describe feelings within.

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

👍🏻🙂

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FiCreate's avatar

I have attended open mics where folk spoke in explicit detail about things in their past which lead to their current MH situation. I wanted to give the person a hug as well as hoping the earth would swallow me up! It was odd, but was relieved when their lengthy monologue had finished.

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

It’s difficult isn’t it. I tend towards being empathetic, but think that in some environments sharing too much detail, especially of trauma, can be disturbing.

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Glenn Barker's avatar

I started out with writing Shakespearean form sonnets, to sit within rhyme in a disciplined way, until I could no longer stay in that formal room. After around fifty sonnets I broke out into rhyme and ditched that very soon for free verse. I have not regretted that.

I've heard all kinds of free verse performed locally. The skill I feel is to find a rhythm within that freedom that makes it feel crafted rather than a series of statements of word vomit, and less is definitely better than more (until I am willing them to stop). 🤐

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

Fifty sonnets is impressive, Glenn. I’m in awe! Free verse is definitely more freeing. Apologies for terrible punning.

There’s definitely a skill in making free verse flow and I would tend to agree with you about length. I’ve only been to a few in-person open mics and thankfully the contributions were time limited.

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Glenn Barker's avatar

Oh, please don't be in awe. The word 'sonnet' implies more than ever a rare few were worthy of that name. The majority were pandemic offloading and pretty basic nursery slope efforts.

I have only done 13 open mics, and I'm still learning. Less is more. Leave the mic before they switch off, and most importantly, don't gamble through looking down at your phone. Read it through aloud before you air it. Everything seems OK until you read it and trip over it. Pacing and patience. Keep at it!

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

Sound advice, Glenn. Still impressed though! 🙂😉

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Julie Bennett's avatar

"The stages of grief"

I love it.

I especially like these lines:

to this lingering malaise

that I can’t quite shake.

And the reference to smudging greys and charcoal. Very evocative of how things look through the clouds of grief.

My early recollection of poetry is rhyming kids rhymes and songs and books.

My grandkids love "Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's dairy" they can fill in the last word of nearly every rhyme in any of the 15 or so books that we own from that series.

I made rhymes up for my kids (now in their 30's ) for a great number of things: facts to learn, silly sounds that they made as toddlers, how to do something, awe some and worship full moments etc etc and to my surprise they still remember many of them.

My daughter recently had a discussion with friends about rhymes from their childhoods and was astonished to find that her friends knew none of the rhymes she recited....later came to me asking where they had come from.....😂 The answer was "from my head!" 😂

I still write poetry today... Rhyming in accomodation feedback reviews and birthday cards, non rhyming I tend to keep them to myself or share with very few people.

Now I have discovered someone else to share them with..keep a look out in your inbox lol😉

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

Hi Julie, thanks for reading this and sharing your thoughts. How lovely your children still remember your rhymes - that must give you a nice warm glow. There’s no doubt rhymes get lodged. I can still remember a number of childhood poems.

I’m so glad you still write poetry. I’d be delighted to see any of it you’re willing to share. I’ll drop my email address to you. Not sure if you have it or not.

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Jane Dougherty's avatar

That's a powerful last line.

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DRNaturegirl's avatar

Maybe a bit harsh. Still, it’s true!

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